The bouts of loneliness...

This has been pending for a long time now. After blogging for quite some time and reading a lot of other blogs, I've wanted to start writing short stories, really short, intense stories. And I've made a beginning. Posting the first one of the lot here. Comments and feedback are needed and will be appreciated. So, here goes.

The bouts of loneliness.

One moment it was all about her, and the next, she felt she was alone. She thought lonely would be a better way to put it.  She loved it when everyone paid attention to what she wanted, not that she always wanted it. She did not know where to go when she felt people avoided her. She went lengths to look back and think if she hurt someone in some way implausible to her, she had not. She always wanted a good reason why someone avoided her.

She knew he loved her, but she wanted him to show it more often. It wouldn’t possible with them living in different cities, but when she needed him, she just needed him. Times were tough, but so was she.

And then one day, it struck bad. Pretty bad. She wanted to stop being lonely. 

So she stopped being...

Extremely Random!

Warning - You are about to read a very, very random post.

Things I’m doing at the moment –

1.       Getting back to a student’s life

2.       Trying to fulfil some unfulfilled wishes

3.       Gearing up to making ‘their’ dreams come true

4.       Toying with the idea of reviewing books

5.       Living a happily married life. [Finally!!!]

6.       Doing some freelancing that will help 1,2 and 3

7.       Realising that there is a life beyond academic performance and coming to terms with it!

8.       Sly reading from the Twitter account of someone I once thought was a friend

9.       Wondering if 8. is grammatically right

10.   Writing a slightly pissing off blog post!!

It's all about LOVE!

You know how they say ‘true love happens only once and the rest of the times, it’s a substitute’? Well no, love happens and its does happen more than once. It happens with so many people. And really, why does love have to be just that relationship that culminates into a marriage?

It is love when you someone says something really nice about you, your mother hears it and you catch the pride in her eyes. That is love.

It is love when you and your father no more share that daughter-father bond but have suddenly turned best buddies that discuss office crushes, work pressure and everything else under the sun. That is love.

It is love when you and your bestie laugh about the years bygone, tears in your eyes. When you start laughing even before you talk, that is love.

It is love when you gift your brother something, and that something was just what he wanted. That expression on his face, that delight in his eyes, is love.

It is love when you hold your sister close to you and whisper something into her ear, something that was a secret all your life. When she understands every bit of it, much more than what you told her, that is love.

It is love when you come home all beaten and your old grandmother offers to make you a cup of the coffee you love. When her words, her coffee relaxes you and you feel so grateful for having someone like her in your life, that is love.

When He knows what your dream is and promises that he will convert it into reality, no matter what. When He weaves his own dreams with yours, That is love.

When he gives you one look and understands what’s troubling you, it’s comforting. When he looks again and you know you are secure, that everything will somehow fall in place, That is love.

Love does not mean a marriage, or a relationship or a bond. Love is everything small, everything that seems insignificant. Only when you realise how much those insignificant things matter, do you begin to understand love.

A Tattoo! :D

It’s a beautiful new year, and amongst the few other things I decided to do, I knew this needed most of my attention.

I had to get over my fear of needles! I have been terrified of injections, to say the least. And hence, I decided to go and get a tattoo done.

Yes, it hurt, it was painful beyond anything I had experienced. But, it’s strangely cathartic, and I'm so proud for being the brave girl and ridding myself the fear of needles!

I also kicked another piece off my bucket list!

This is my entire universe fit into a small design. The design is my own and I'm so proud!  

It hurts...

It hurts –

·         When you know what I want and still will not do it for me

·         When you know I’m not wrong but still won’t stand up for me

·         When you say you have to be the priority and fail to even consider me an option

·         When you know what I am and still don’t trust me

·         When you make me feel that everything I do is a mistake

·         When all I need is two words of comfort and all I get is silence

·         When you know you are wrong but will go to any length to prove me wrong

·         When it needs to be about LOVE but all you feed is your EGO

10 things I’d love us to do together

One thing led to another and I came up with this one. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this or pay attention, but... There it goes! J

1.       Laugh about nothing in particular

2.       Watch the sunset together

3.       Go for the longest walk, hand in hand

4.       Listen to my favourite songs and know that if I’d sing for you, that’s what I would’ve sung

5.       Gorge on pani puri round the corner, and finish dinner there

6.       Bake a chocolate cake, just like that, just for us

7.       Lie down in a beach and count stars

8.       You to know what I want to say, to you, without me saying anything

9.       To relive days from 26^th July 2010 to 1^st Jan 2011

10.   To work on all those things we promised each other

The apprehensions are gone :)

I had this fear from a long long time, about 2 years to be precise. 

I was fresh out of college, after a struggle, and was desperate to land in a job. I never thought programming or coding was my cup of tea ever, and did not know how else to progress. I still went ahead and tried my luck with a HR company since I knew by then that I do have a flair for communication. But they all had the same question - why would they want a non-MBA candidate to do Human Resources Management when there are hordes of them who already have an MBA degree. I drew a blank. It was a month since I had graduated and was still at home without a job in hand. Trust me, that feeling is the one of the worst anyone can ever have.

And then I chanced upon this company that said they do social media management. I had no clue what it was about but still went on to attend the interviews and find out what they have to say. The interviews went pretty well. The man who interviewed me, who later went on to become my boss, says after 4 interviews “I’ll let you know if we have a position open for you!” I somehow did not know if I should console myself, get depressed or attend other interviews. This was my third interview and still I had no job. Relatives had started suggesting I take up the job of an office admin – It was a shitty place to be in and I had only myself to blame.

Then came the ray of hope. I was offered that job and like the phrase goes ‘I worked for peanuts’. I was a social media/market research analyst. Few friends said it was a great profile and they had no idea what a research analyst does! I myself was not too sure about the industry; I mean why would someone pay you to see and report what is happening on Facebook, Twitter, blogs or anywhere else on the internet.

But it was true, I was going to be paid to be on social networking sites all the time, it was good deal and I was not complaining. The team I was in was fabulous and felt like home. My mentors came with major experience in the software industry and no airs about themselves. Office was second home, hard to believe, I know. Once in a while, I again went back to thinking if this social media management, planning, etc was even worth it and whether I would even get a decent job if I left this company. Being one of the best performers helped get recognition though I faltered quiet sometimes. As it happened later, my beloved company had to close down because our major client refused to renew a contract with us. We were asked to look for new jobs. Now this would be such a nightmarish situation for many but somehow it did not scare me. My mentors helped me land interviews through their references; I managed to clear most of them successfully.

I still needed to know if I could half as well without their references, and guess what! I did it! Got a job with a company that my ex-bosses had heard of, said they were good and were super happy about the fact that I’ve done well for myself. So, the apprehensions are gone, about myself and about the industry I choose to be with. :) 

More about social media in the next post and it will come up soon!